Warriors, the Spoof part four

God damn, has it really been that long? almost like, eight months since I posted the previous episode! Well, it's been pretty difficult to post anything at all without internet. you're lucky as heck that you've got anything at all, kids. now, where was I?



Firepaw: wow, finally we're out of that crappy filler episode that doesn't even go in chronological order to the real story!
Graypaw: yeah, AND I'm sure that desendent's crappy unoriginal unfinished sentence joke was getting boring as heck by now. Wait, it wasn't? Damn, you little girls are so easy to amuze.
Tigerclaw: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYING ASS APPRENTICES, BREAKING THE GOD DAMN FOURTH WALL AND INSULTING THE AUDIENCE!!! DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK?!?!?!?!?!?
Ravenpaw: *Squeals and gets in a fetal position*
Tigerclaw: NOW, iM GOING TO ASSESS YOU ASSHOLES, SO LISTEN THE FUCK UP, OR I'LL KILL ALL YOU FUCKERS RIGHT NOW! SOULLESS GINGER, JUST GO THE FUCK HOME!
Firepaw: Really, more ginger insults?
Tigerclaw: DO YOU DARE DEFY YOUR FUTURE LEADER, GINGER ASSHOLE?
Firepaw: Yes I do. I'm the chosen one, and I could take you on any day, because I'm perfect, even if you were trying to take over the forest, which you're obviously not doing of course.
Tigerclaw: IF YOU'RE SO DAMN PERFECT, WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU ACTING SO FUCKING GENERIC IN THE PREVIOUS EPIDODE?!?!?!?
Firepaw: it's that... that, "pang" feeling.
Tigerclaw: I'LL BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT WHEN PIGS FLY!!!!
Graypaw: Dude, like, it's totally actually hedgehogs in this book, man.
Firepaw: What the heck? Why are you talking like a surfer dude now? I thought you were a gamer nerd?
Graypaw: I am, but I have a feeling that some day I'll be a riverclan cat because I'll eventually meet a beautiful she-cat there.
Tigerclaw: WILL YOU STOP FUCKING SPOILING THE FUTURE OF THESTORY FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND SO I CAN GIVE ORDERS TO YOU SHIT HEADS?!?!?
Ravenpaw: *Squeals again and shakes uncontrollably*
Tigerclaw: GRAYSTRIPE, JUST GO WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, SINCE YOUR NERDY ASS DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER! RAVENPAW, CATCH ANOTHER FUCKING ADDER SO THIS STORY JUST MIGHT HAVE SOME FUCKING CHRONOLOGICAL SENSE ACCORDING TO THE STORY, ASSHOLE! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CATCH AN ADDER EARLIER? STARCLAN DAMN YOU FUCKERS!!!!
*FUCKING TITLE THEME PLAYS!!!*
Graypaw: Hey, only the writer can cue the title theme!
Tigerclaw: YOU CAN'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO YOU-
*title theme plays*
Firepaw: *hears something moving and pounces on it*
Unidentified cat: AH! I'm being attacked by a ginger!
Firepaw: Intruder! *scratches cat*
Unidentified Cat: Fucking ginger!
Firepaw: Fuck you Smudge, I know it's you!
Tigerclaw: AHA! OUR LITTLE FUCKING GINGER FRIEND IS FRATERNIZING WITH A KITTYPET! DIE!
Firepaw: What the heck? I was attacking him!
Spottedleaf: *tackles Tigerclaw, nuzzles firepaw, and runs back to her den*
Tigerclaw: UGH, YOU'RE LUCKY AS FUCK THAT YOUR SLUTTY STALKER ATTACKED ME! I'LL GET YOU SOME DAY!!!
---*Suddenly Whitestorm!*---
Whitestorm: My ninja senses told me something bad was going on! I'll poof this parody suddenly into the future!
Firepaw: wha-
---now firepaw is in Bluestar's den---
Bluestar: So I heard that you want to be a kittypet now.
Firepaw: oh dear, Whitestorm, you poofed me somewhere else! this isn't the future! this is an alternate universe! I never did anything to imply that I want to be a kittypet again!
Bluestar: Tigerclaw informed me that you were talking to a kittypet today.
Firepaw: No I didn't! Well, not really.
Bluestar: I knew it would be a bad idea to bring you here. I'm expecting too much of you.
Firepaw: What the heck? you said earlier that you knew I was the chosen one, now you're saying I'm just a kittypet? make up your mind!
Bluestar: what were you talking about to the kittypet?
Firepaw: I just told him to fuck off!
Bluestar: oh, you resorted to cussing? All right, you're a true warrior. You can stay with us.
Lionheart: The defending Firepaw is now confused!
Firepaw: Dude, that's pokemon!
Lionheart: Yeah, I know. The writer doesn't like the runescape jokes, because they make no sense.
Firepaw: But most of this spoof makes no sense!
Lionheart: I know! I think he just wants to watch me suffer from my runescape withdrawal, that jerk! *thinks deeply about runescape*
*end of part 4*

Silly Lionheart! there never really were runescape jokes! they were always completely unrelated to runescape.